A thousand things come to our minds in each and everyday from the moment we open our eyes until we close it. There are so many things that keeps us preoccupied – work, projects, commitments, due dates and so on. Oftentimes we forget the things that are more important to us – our love ones. Being so busy and preoccupied, we sometimes forget that the reason why we work and do things is for our love ones. But have we asked ourselves how well we’ve been doing with them? Our relationships with our love ones? Do we spend enough time to be with them?
When I was young, I’ve often felt too bad about the things that happened to my family. I was 9 when my parents separated. Being the eldest, I am bound to take care of my younger brother and sister when my mom left us to the care of my maternal grandparents. It’s hard for me not knowing what the future holds for us. My sister was only seven and my brother is 4. Life away from the city is tough and it did not help much to resolve our family problems either. There are times when my siblings would ask me when we will come home to my parents. I don’t know the answer. All I can tell them is tomorrow. No one knows how many tomorrows we’ll have to wait, but surely one day we’ll be together. I did not stop hoping. There’s no day or night I didn’t pray for the reunion of my parents and our family. Two long years had passed and my prayers were heard. My mom went to take us home. New school. New friends. New neighbors. Everything’s new, but I’m glad we’re home. A few more months passed and one day, my parents were reunited. But the problems didn’t stop there. What I once thought was tough is much easier for me to bear. I thought that the reunion of my parents will be the happiest day of our lives. But I was so wrong. We didn’t know that my father had illegally married ‘the other woman’. (My parents were not legally separated and no annulment ever occurred). When he confessed to my mom, it brought us more pain and this one is tougher. I was a teenager then and I feel so awkward growing up. God blest us with another brother. He reminds me of my younger years and he gave me hope, but at the same time, I felt sad because I don’t want him to see or feel the pains I’ve felt for I know what it feels like; how tough this is for me.
And there was this feeling of loneliness and anger in my heart that stayed through the years. The pain in my heart never left and the wound was never healed. Inside the smallest part of my heart lives a fear – a fear of growing up and trusting people. Yes, trust. Trusting people had been very hard for me because the one’s who broke my trust are the people I loved.
Our family problem became like big waves to me drowning me. I was so angry but the anger was there inside my heart, silently burning like a flame. And when that flame grew like a blazing fire, I can’t handle it anymore, because through the years, the problem became problems and this time, more complicated. It was too tough for me and I wasn’t able to handle it. I had attitude problems then. I hated every person around me that I wished they never existed or I was never born. I didn’t know myself then. I thought I’m being strong but I’m wrong. I know I felt so weak then and I know I can’t take more of it. Then I stopped going to school for two years and still thought that I can face life on my own in the real adult world. But I was so wrong. There was a time, I wanted to run away. I did but only for a few hours. I came back not because I’m scared to live alone or for any other reason. I came back because I don’t want to be a bad example to my siblings. I don’t want them to be weak. I want them to be strong that they may face their own problems and not run away from it. My experiences in the real world taught me more about life. No matter what I do, neither can I change our present situation nor solve our family problems. Only my father can do that. If only he’d stop womanizing... then maybe we’ll be a happy family. But I know he has problems to deal with and maybe he’s also struggling with his own personal problems. He needs time to do that just as I did. Those two years of my life became like a training phase to me – a trial in the real world. It helped me understand myself and others. I’ve found the serendipity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can. There I realize, that no matter what I do and no matter where I am, my family matters most to me than anything else in this world. They’re all I have that no wealth, no fame can give me.
Now, I’m 22 and growing strong. Our family problem is still there but I’m stronger to deal with it and more patient to wait for its end. Now, I’m back to school and pursuing my studies, hoping to become a nurse in the next few years. It was never late to start a new life even if we have to start all over again. And now, I’m starting to build my shattered dreams as new love began to heal my wounds, removing the pain that was once there. I’m preparing myself for the future of my family and family-to-be. They’re everything that matters to me – my true love.
So to everyone who read this, I hope my story will help you realize the value of family and loved ones, that no matter where you are and no matter where you go – your family is all you have and they meant everything in the world.
So why don’t you give them a call or send them a message so that they will know that you’re thinking of them. Good luck and God bless!!!